tosca cake

It's my godmother's birthday and nameday this week, and although I had initially planned to go visit during this time, that didn't quite happen. I'll be up north in Lapland later in the month and in December, though, and am looking forward to all that. In the meantime, I thought I'd share this recipe of one of my godmother's favourites.

how i am not coping with chronic pain

 I was going to say that I haven't been coping well with my chronic pain lately, but that's not exactly true. "Lately" is more or less a year at this point and "coping well" is always relative. Maybe I have never coped well, but the last year has been the hardest since I first got ill and has actually led me to seek more permanent (medical) help for the first time in quite a while. Because although I have seen various people over the past decade and a bit it's often only been a quick check up or revision/refill of prescriptions. And it actually took a semi-casual remark of "what? you're in pain all the time every day - that's not right" from a friend for me to figure out that no, it is not right, I shouldn't have to live this way and I actually deserve to be fully examined and treated (again). Shockingly, I deserve more than the bare minimum in this area of my life, too.

travelling or not travelling

I just posted a little (unrelated) throwback picture on Instagram saying how a lot of people irl think of me as someone who travels a lot and is constantly somewhere and someplace different. And I do love travelling and exploring new places (as well as revisiting familiar ones). But, honestly, I don't consider myself to travel that much, less than most people around me, really.

thursday thoughts pt. 52

 I haven't done one of these in a while!

dressed for a funeral

 This is one of my favourite vintage dresses, but also one that I wear the least. And this is one of those rare occasions when I don't necessarily want to wear it more often - it is my funeral and mourning dress.

berry-picking

Blueberry-tinted lips, snack breaks on big rocks, pretty light rays through the trees, forest smells, and tiny plant-life. These are my favourite things when blueberry picking. And of course getting lots of berries - both into my belly and my basket!

migraine awareness week

Apparently it's Migraine Awareness Week, and when I went to check out the Migraine Trust's website about it I came to realize that as someone who has lived with migraines for over a decade I wasn't as aware of them as I thought either. So, how am I expecting those around me to be when it isn't talked about that much (much like most other medical conditions aren't) even though it is so common?

gems

It's currently my birthmonth and birthweek, which is probably my favourite time of the year. I love the end of summer anyway, but having my birthday during it makes it even more enjoyable. My birthday plans for this year are non-existent so here's a little throwback to a previous one.

summer violets

 Violets (I will forever call all violaceae violets) are my favourite flowers, so being covered in them is a dream. I first saw this print on a bikini, but as soon as I realized it was a whole beach look I knew it had to be my beach look. So, I have been living in the bikini and in this skirt and top this whole summer.

midsummertime sadness

In contrast to this, I wanted to write about a bout of summertime sadness that surfaced this week. Because even though I'm still happy about summer and excited about all the tiny things I have planned, I have layers and I'm also feeling sad. Maybe it isn't summer related at all, but that's how it started.

working out when you have chronic pain

Honestly, this is not something I'd thought ever to confess as I've tried to maintain my image and reputation of laziness and 'oh-I-don't-exercise' nonsense, but most of the time I enjoy working out. The gym's not for me, but for almost two years (!) I've had some kind of a workout routine going on that I can do at home. I even mentioned it in passing on here once to hold myself accountable. And I mean, it's kind of worked.

summer at home

Growing up we never went on a summer holiday in the sense I understood that word. I was on holiday from school, we would sometimes visit a different city in Finland, and that was it. Mostly I spent my summers at my grandparents' or at home, usually splitting the time between the two. I'd sometimes ask to go somewhere, to go abroad, especially when I heard about my friends' plans - who'd often go to the Canary Islands or somewhere else that sounded fun and more exciting than two nights in a Finnish town. But at the same time, I always loved my summers.

thursday thoughts pt. 51

hietaniemi cemetery

Another cemetery post, because who doesn't love cemeteries? I didn't think photos of the presidents' graves would be that interesting to anyone else but me, so I'm not sharing those. (There's a part of Mannerheim's tombstone, though, if you can and want to spot it.) Maybe when I complete my collection with the missing two, I'll post about it, because apparently I now collect pictures of presidents' graves. Sounds about right for a strange new hobby for me to have. But here's some other little shots and impressions of the Hietaniemi cemetery.

managing (chronic) pain

Tomorrow's my 11-year-anniversary with my chronic headache, so what could be more appropriate than another little post on chronic pain? An alternative title for this post I had is "managing pain and how I fail at it" because like any human bean, I have periods of time when I don't do well with the things I know I should be doing, others when I'm managing much better and sometimes I don't even know what I should be doing to feel okay. And, honestly, I'm currently living through a larger patch of having struggles. So, even though when I began writing this it was with informing and helping others in mind, maybe I'm really trying to help myself along the way, too.

project 365: week thirteen

 085: Running errands in the city and it's so exciting to see more stalls appear at the market square. Now they've mostly been Easter/spring flowers, but pretty sure there'll be more within a month or two. I am very much looking forward to buying veg, fruit and berries from local sellers once it's time for all that!

life with chronic pain

On this blog and on social media, I often mention in passing how I've been feeling ill/poorly, having migraines or headaches, but I've never been more explicit on the matter. And for quite a while now I have actually wanted to start talking more about these topics, maybe even health (physical and mental) in general. Because, here's the thing: I've lived with chronic pain for over a decade now. It has not been a fun experience.

butterflies in a field

 I don't know who and where I thought I was, believing that wearing a mere t-shirt would be enough. Granted it was quite warm, but I still could only bear to take my coat off for two seconds. I just wanted to wear this skirt and as soon as this t-shirt (and some other Adidas bits) arrived, I felt optimistic and deceived by the warmth of the sun I could feel through the window and changed from a more weather-appropriate outfit to this.

thursday thoughts pt. 50

Usually my "Thursday Thoughts" include a quote and maybe some thoughts of my own. But for International Women's Day I've selected a few quotes by a few amazing women that I've found inspiring lately:

about history

I'm definitely one of those bloggers who has drafts dusting in the corners of my blog and laptop, whether they include photos, text or both that for whatever reason I leave unfinished. And they stay unfinished for weeks, months and years. At some point I'll come back to them and either finish and publish or decide it's time to move on as they are not relevant anymore, I don't feel like that anymore or sometimes I don't even have a clue on what I've been trying to convey with my ramblings. So here's one of those posts I've been meaning to post since before I graduated in 2015 - and was a bit sad about the possibility of it being the last time I study history. And I just felt like publishing it in the end and today's the day! I've edited this and most of the brackets are by 2018-Laura, not that I've really changed that much or changed my opinions since I first started writing this.