travelling or not travelling

I just posted a little (unrelated) throwback picture on Instagram saying how a lot of people irl think of me as someone who travels a lot and is constantly somewhere and someplace different. And I do love travelling and exploring new places (as well as revisiting familiar ones). But, honestly, I don't consider myself to travel that much, less than most people around me, really.

It's funny how differently people see you and how you see yourself. I have actually not been abroad in exactly a year today. Yet when people see me, they ask where I have been and what places have I seen lately. I do often end up posting pictures and blog posts on social media much later than my travels and trips actually happened, so although I mention this fact I can see why that could confuse some people. But it's mostly people who don't follow my online presence who just have this picture of me as someone who's always at some new country, never long in one place. Maybe it's because I used to move back and forth between the UK and Finland for about six years. But I never really considered that travelling since I just happened to have a home in two different countries and spent time in both. Maybe it's just the image I have left in people's minds of me. In a way I wish that was me, but it isn't. I've definitely been to more places than some, but I don't see myself as "well-travelled". I think I've visited just about above ten countries, I've never been outside of Europe, most of my times away from home have been less than a week. And most of the travelling I have done has definitely been between the UK and Finland.

I'd love to travel more. I'd love to travel everywhere. I have so many plans that I want to realize. But to be quite honest, that is not realistic for me - at least right now. I don't have the budget, the means or the health to really go anywhere. Which is why I've been home (or sometimes at my mum's) for what feels like a long time now. And it's fine because I am equal parts a homebody and an explorer of the world. This is possibly a time to stay home and focus on other things, and a time will come when I'll possibly be travelling, exploring and adventuring more again. In a world with a constant flood of images of others experiencing new cultures, countries and everything travel-related - or even just doing anything that seems a bit more exciting than what you have got going on in your life - it is so easy to feel like you're less than, lacking something or not achieving as much and living your life to the fullest. And when my answer to 'where I've been' is just home, I feel like I'm not meeting these expectations other people and possibly even myself have of me. It feels important to remember that there will be periods of time in everyone's life when everything is a bit calmer, slower, and you won't be achieving everything you want and reaching your fullest potential at all times, every year, every moment. And I am okay with that. Yes, I dream of and semi-plan travelling trips for the future, but at the same time I am content with being in one place, being home and enjoying these moments that are coming my way in this way.

These pictures are from a day in Southend, a long time ago. It was a really lovely day and I really loved Southend - I do love a seaside town. But, I'm also actually having a pretty good day today, and there will be lovely days in the future, too. No matter whether they will be abroad while travelling or at home not travelling.